Be Good to Yourself

Many years ago I had the pleasure of working with a gentleman that I came to respect for his self-awareness and dedication to doing the right thing. He taught me a great deal even though most of the lessons did not really “hit home” until years later. Perhaps the greatest impact on me came from a simple daily admonition as we parted at the end of the day to “Be good to yourself.”

First let’s remember that this was during the infamous 70’s when just about anything was acceptable and hedonism was very much in vogue. The inevitable result was that I took his advice to mean that I should indulge myself and reward myself and generally pursue as much pleasure as I could find. The good news, or perhaps it was the bad news, was that there was a great deal of pleasure to be found. It was not until much later that I came to understand that he did not mean what I heard at the time. He meant something much more important and challenging. As it turns out the simple pursuit of pleasure may be fine for Paris and Lindsey but it’s not so good for me. Frankly I doubt that it is any good for them either, but that is content for another type of publication.

As time passed I changed. Feature that. In retrospect it seems quite natural but at the time it was a fearsome prospect. In those days of yore I never really wanted to make meaningful commitments or pay attention to the wisdom of others or limit my behavior to that which would add value, and I certainly did not want to embrace accountability. Perhaps worst of all, I would choose on many days to do nothing even when a whisper in my head (the ghosts of my parents?) told me that I should put one figurative foot in front of the other toward something –anything.

Anyway I came to realize that I had a larger purpose in life than to just feel good. It isn’t particularly important how I got there. It may have been the inevitable sorting out of all the lessons I avoided learning as a child and adolescent. It may have been changes in society as a whole. It may have been my choosing to return to the study of human behavior – including mine. It may have been the spiritual inspiration that grew in me. In this case I think that hindsight is not necessarily so crystal clear. No matter. I changed.

I found expression for my deeper and more authentic self in the study and application of organizational psychology. It has brought me grand elation and deep sorrow, but above all it has made me a firm believer in the basic rightness of humanity. With few exceptions, people try to do the right thing. Good intentions rule even though they may sometimes pave the road to perdition. In this blog I will share what I have seen in my more than thirty years in this work and ask the many questions that continue to plague me about what makes organizations work to the true benefit of their stakeholders. I will elaborate on what I came to know as the meaning of being good to myself and write about some of the many mistakes I have made on my journey. Please join me by commenting or posing questions of your own. I believe that your intentions are good and together perhaps we can keep from laying those infamous paving stones on a road that none of us wants to travel.