More on Being Good to Yourself

Well, I have once again learned something. By that I mean not only that I have learned another new thing, but that I have learned again something that I have previously known, but apparently not known well.

A commenter on this blog asked if I were familiar with the work of Ken Wilber. The truthful answer was, “Not on my best day!” Of course I had to find out who this person is and why I might have triggered a thought about him. So, I searched, I found, and I rejoiced. His work is not an easy read, but it smacks of truth more than anything I have seen in my memory.

I think that I have been urged by my education and “professional” status to view myself as a psychologist (read scientist) first and a philosopher second, but I continue to have a nagging feeling that the difference between the two is more artificial than actual. Wilber tells me that the difference is unimportant except at a level of detail that is meaningless for most questions. So, I get to be both and that eases my mind a bit. It also reminded me of a saying that I read many years ago that posits a similar sentiment:

“The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will neither have good plumbing nor good philosophy.”

I think though that many folks today would consider science the exalted activity and philosophy not worth much consideration in the “real world.” Anyway, I want to be both and choose to ignore any requirement to be dualistic about it.

I have only read a little of Wilber’s writing at this point but I am taken by his apparent understanding that thought is a behavior and that it has substance and power in life. It is also damned hard to manage without a great deal of effort and practice. When my friend told me to be good to myself, he was really saying that if I was to be happy and fulfilled I would have to learn to manage ALL of my behavior. For example, it was not enough to follow Woody Allen’s advice and show up. I had to show up with all of my equipment ready to operate. In my past there were many times when I failed to show up at all and many, many more when I only brought the physical body and left the rest of the toolbox at home – or wherever such things are when not in use. Most certainly the results that I produced reflected this spotty preparation. My performance tended to bounce between brilliant and just plain terrible, and more often the latter than the former.

Now that brilliance is well in my past, I am pleased to find that I can be competent nearly all of the time if I bring the whole toolbox – you know the big one on rollers with lots of drawers that represent all of my education and experience. Competence is good. Brilliance is overrated. Being good to yourself is first of all about showing up. More to come.